its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
