so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
