You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
