North Korea, Best Korea!
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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