I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
