I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize