then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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