I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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