they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
