names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
