i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Randomize
