please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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