shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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