Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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