420 ftw
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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