super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
