Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
