She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
