We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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