who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize