Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
3pm strippers are depressing
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize