There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
