You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
NoShamevember. You game?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
