I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
