arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
There r osticjed everywhere
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
and you fell through a lawn chair
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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