I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
