Please, let me fuck your mom
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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