So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Even my vagina gasped.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Randomize
