Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
