it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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