dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I need moral support for this bender
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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