sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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