I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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