it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
