I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
