Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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