then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
