I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
