I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
