I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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