I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
