You just made me feel so damn special
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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