i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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