A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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