this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
