So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
