You don't have asthma, your pregnant
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
