Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize