yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
