Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(740): View more from Ohio

Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics

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(609): View more from New Jersey

in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is

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(269): View more from Michigan

I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.

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(516): View more from New York

He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.

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(512): View more from Texas

that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.

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(813): View more from Florida

his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.

(407): View more from Florida

yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling

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(208): View more from Idaho

He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me

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(304): View more from West Virginia

when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.

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