you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
