Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
