have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
