my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
