I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
A+ Viking dick
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
