you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Is Oprah even human
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
