the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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