He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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