Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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