I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
