we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
